We'll figure it out.

I've been thinking a lot about passions lately. Not to be confused with the soap opera, passion is defined (on dictionary.com, at least) as "1. Any powerful or compelling feeling or emotion, as love or hate." Well, if that's really the definition, I have passions for so many things I can't even begin to think which ones I'd have time to pursue. So I'm pretty sure that definition is wrong. (Sorry, dictionary.com, I still love you.) I think a passion is a powerful or compelling feeling or emotion that takes precedent over all other feelings or emotions that may exist at the time. And if you asked me what my passion is, I'm not sure I would have the answer. Oh sure, I'd spit out some garbage like "definitely writing!" or "making babies one day!" immediately, but I'm not sure if that's really true.
Maybe I don't really have a passion, which scares me. I feel like if that's the case, I'm going to end up like my mother; middle aged and basically a gypsy, running around with no goals because she never found something she really loved doing. Of course she loved my brother and me, but you can only be a full time mom until your kids grow up, and then it's kind of like ...now what? She doesn't have anything else to do. People are like swings in my opinion; they need something pushing them, or they'll just kind of wind down and stop, and if you're stopped long enough, you rust and break.
I'm not sure I know what I'm talking about, I just know that for the first time in my life I've picked the hard way; not doing what someone else wants me to- no compromises, just what I want for me, and I'm nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm betting my whole life on this being what I want, and I'm not sure it is, but I guess that's what this is- a gamble. I'm out of time, and it's either gamble for what could be amazing or complete shit, or what I know will be stable and mediocre. I've never taken a chance like this.
I don't know when I turned into an adult, but I know that I did, because I've found myself saying "We'll figure it out." a lot lately